Thursday, October 26, 2006

Mister Sandman...Send Me A Dream...

Can you believe this? I'm actually looking forward to picking my(actually Ray's dog) from the kennel today. I wanted to get this blog because he's going to be a hyper canine when I get him back...I suppose we really DO get attached do our canine and feline buddies, right? Had myself one of those dark, disturbing sci-fi/horror dreams. There was this evil version of Neo(portrayed by Keanu Reeves in the Matrix flicks)...He had the temperament of Pinhead from the HELLRAISER movies...Dark Neo ripped me apart in the dream...Skin-flaying, dismemberment, disemboweling...yet somehow I was able to survive it...and observe it from the outside...Because I was in the Matrix? Anyway, I reintegrated and kept clear of him and his masochist cult...He had the same unstable personality as that psycho concentration camp guard played by Ralph Fiennes in SCHINDLER'S LIST. I suppose this symbolizes further fears of change and the ongoing struggle against my angrier, cynical side...blah, blah, blah...These dreams are pretty f--king vivid. On my way back from the gym today, I took a different that would have led me to my old place on Beech Street if I'd cut through the park in front of the library...I had a twinge or two of nostalgia...but for the most part, I enjoy my current status as homeowner-up-on-the-hill. I imagine that's a sign that my life has progressed quite a bit. I remember being lonely and depressed quite a bit back on Beech Street. I remember kicking down the closet door over there, dealing with THAT trauma of sexual identity...I had many good memories as well...Friendships lost and found, trips to Scotland in and out of that place...Eight years coming of age in a way... But I wouldn't go back...That was then and this is now. And I like NOW a whole lot better...There's love in it...and a more settled personality inside this skin...although some folks would disagree with that... All for now....GaP

Monday, October 23, 2006

Wayfaring Stranger

Got myself a little heads up from my union rep regarding my recent work-attitude. Mare sold it to me like this: "Ga--...Anger is understandable...but don't make extra work for your colleagues by causing them to put out fires that you start..." Or words to that effect...If I were to ditch this gig, what would I DO? THAT, my friends, is the sixty-Euro question... I went down to Boston(Somerville) to a friend's Halloween party and I got myself lost after getting off the bus. I did a mile-and-a-half-loop in pouring rain around Tufts University...Suddenly, I remembered exactly WHY I didn't like to travel anymore...That aimless, wandering, stuck-out-in-the-cold feeling...everyone's snug in their HOMES and here you are, DRIFTING, G--! Felt that way so many times when I was backpacking overseas. So lost and alone...a STRANGER wandering past unfamiliar streets... Party was fun, though...My friend Liam seems to know many people while I'm becoming more reclusive...and no longer really care if I am... On the bus back to Manchester, I arrived right at the time a funeral/memorial service was letting out for fallen Police Officer Michael Briggs...Policemen were dressed in their finest regalia to honor him...they streamed out of the newly constructed baseball stadium where the service took place. Streams of blue and gold-clad law enforcement folk followed by their families...And there were officers from out of town as well. I saw police-motorcycles from Waltham, MA and Lincoln, NH. Fellow cops from all over the country traveled to pay their respects. Such loyalty and respect touched me. It was a poignant realization that humans have warmth and honor within them that is worth celebrating...and it gave me hope for us humans... GaP

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Too Much Time On My Hands?

My second consecutive day off...When you have a ton of time suddenly on your hands, all of the things you should be doing, get delayed and fussed over...until you rush around to multitask them...and they end up being completed half-assed...With my roommate over in England and the dog in the kennel, suddenly there was a lack of structure...Absolute piles of time to be indecisive in...I futzed around upstairs in what will someday become my reading room, I lit candles to kill some of the dog-odor, blew them out, re-lit them...I imported music into my hard-drive, re-filed the music in my external drive...All of it very exciting stuff... Working out at the gym, I was able to reconnect with some friends and maybe start another friendship. I spoke with a gent named Patrick, originally from Brisbane, Australia...and man, he's got the accent to prove it...The Y isn't just a place to's a social networker... I've got a union rep who's being relentlessly trying to contact me by phone...I have no cell so I'm I in trouble at work again? I have to admit...the way I dodge phone calls and the way I'm letting my friendships drift, I AM becoming more my dad. Human interaction...running around to socialize...even my comics are becoming a hassle. (GASP!) Human nature, I guess...some things change...other things never do...Some people have glamorous lives, others would rather just hide in the solitude. It was weird but not unpleasurable having the house to myself for a change. All for now...GaP

Meandering Thoughts--Sign O' The Times

Some things going through my head... Senator Tom Foley naming the priest who allegedly interfered with him when he was an altar boy. Unbelievable...the guy was caught sending e-mails and instant messages to young male pages...So what does he do? Does he come clean? Face the music like a man? No, of course not. He scurries away to rehab and has his press junket declare his alcoholism. And when that fails to elicit the appropriate amount of sympathy we learn that he's(GASP!)a GAY MAN! (The Scandal!) Now we have him naming the priest who supposedly molested him when he was an altar boy. More diversionary tactics and damage control. So this is supposed to excuse him, apparently... In my hometown...actually, my home-city, we get a taste of New York and L.A. Last week, a policeman was shot down...The memorial service will be held this Saturday. I understand this is the first cop-murder in anyone's memory. Looks like the population-migration from the southern neighboring state is importing its special brand of cosmopolitan underworld gangsta chic. The perpetrator is being extradited back to the state(from said neighboring state) where he'll be facing the death penalty. And if his victim's colleague buddies gets his hands on him in the incarceration process, I would speculate that there'll be some brutality involved. I understand that the police fraternity is pretty loyal... Welcome to the 21st Century...GaP

Friday, October 13, 2006

Friday The 13th...Two Weeks Before Halloween

This is a rare event...A Jason Voorhees holiday on the same month Michael Myers usually goes trick-or-treating... The Exchange on NPR had horror movies as a topic. It provided a potted history of the genre from the Thirties up 'til now...I especially like how horror is usually indicative of whatever societal anxieties are lurking beneath the collective surface...Dracula, for example, reflects fears of sexuality and passion, Frankenstein belies a discomfort with technology...The Fifties gave us atomic horror...The Seventies slasher flicks were almost like a neo-conservative yearning for proper birth to the all-important rules that Randy(Jamie Kennedy) cites in the Scream movies. Drugs, Alcohol, Sex equal being racked up to the body count. It's almost like America was in this confused state post Viet Nam/ Watergate/the Sexual Revolution...In some twisted way, the slashers depicted what happened if the Leave It To Beaver moral code had been broken. (Why am I reminded of the Brady Bunch? It was a sitcom that wanted to BE like the earnest simple sitcoms of the Fifties after all of the aforementioned cultural upheaval...The it evolved into Mike Brady's afro and bell-bottoms and his childrens' groovy-hipness...The Brady Bunch movies of the Nineties skewers these like a slasher-movie victim...But I digress. Horror. I'm of the opinion that horror serves a purpose...a safe, cathartic way to deal with our primal fears...pain, death, the threat to "normality". And a good point was touched upon in this program...Why IS it that the Christian faith(ESPECIALLY Catholicism) provides a springboard for so much horror? THE EXORCIST, ROSEMARY'S BABY, THE WICKER MAN? Never heard of a Buddhist horror movie...Or a Hindu slasher flick... Watch your skies and watch your backs in the post-millenial times...GaP

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Responses to Science-Fiction Pop-Culture Apocalypse

You're not alone. I've had similar visions for the last twenty years. Lots of people have; where do you think those movies came from and why they're so popular? And yes, I'd say a LOT of it has to do with your "soul-deadening job". Traci will tell you, my dreams slowed down once I took up martial arts, and since I quit my job a few months back I've felt more empowered and optimistic than I have since childhood. Your mind is trying to tell you something G---. Listen!!! Brian PS: On the other hand, that must have been a really awesome dream! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- or maybe you just have an over-active imagination... ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr Roberts perscribes 2 ounces Cruzan Rum (dark) 4 times an hour for the next 22 years ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Actually Gar, I think your predicting what will happen if the Republicans win the next presidential election……. Just kidding…. In reality though – and dream analysis is not a specialty of mine, I think it has to do a lot with all of the things you mentioned. Being a flight attendant you are bound to be bombarded with all of the shite about unrest anyway. Even if you don’t seek it out (tv news, newspapers, etc.), right now in society we CAN’T ESCAPE IT! Passively it’s everywhere. Every time we hear someone say “let’s not forget 9/11” Brian and I scream at the tv “HOW CAN WE? YOU WON’T LET US!” The whole Transmetropolitan thing. Plus you do have a great imagination and you watch/read a lot of media that have to do with these things so it’s already in your subconscious. Then your brain is taking in all of this other apocalyptic stuff and then there’s the piece of yourself that apparently does feel that if you don’t change careers/”do something with your life” (you are, trust me, just not what you want)/spread your wings at least one more time (being that you’re in your 30’s now), that this is how life will turn out. What d’ya think? ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Gary, WoW, but your not the first! Relax in that thought. Things are happening all over the world. Get this: In the Middle East its being reported that Muslims in great numbers are being visited (appeared to) by Jesus. I'm not making this up. I heard it on the tube again yesterday. Why we get dreams (or visits) of such vividness, clarity and direction is imponderable. You have had enough signs (previous disclosure) that if I were you, I would request again (with humility) a clear direction. Consider the source possiblilities. Try this Ga--: If the dreams and circumstances bring you to a desire to seek the Lord for the answers, you may be experiencing the Big Hint. If they drive you away from Him and cause you lean on your own methods of understanding (been trying that) its less likely to be heavenly inspired. Additionally if the dream experience makes you angry, irritable or irrational that too may be a hint of the source. I dont know of many examples, if any, where these characteristrics, as evidenced by the outcome, proved to be from God. Also, all this could be from your fertile mind as fed by the world situation and your sci-fi interests. But God can use it all for his purpose. OK enough theology. Get down on your knees and pray Ga--. You have before I bet. Do it again and wait until you get an answer. Not literally for forever ( too long betweeen meals) but you get the intent. Don't give up asking. Ask Him what this is suppose to mean and if He blesses it. Sometimes that quiet still peace comes to a guy and the answer and direction are clear and peaceful. And sometimes just the next step is clear. As to direction, take a step out, start to prepare for a transition while you have the job. "Right Greg with my schedule I have lots of juice left and time" I hear ya and yes I know what you are or may be saying G---. But short of a clean financially destructive break I don't know any other way. Again, many do and its the self push they need. Only you know G--- and what will work. Of course, I'm thinking and advising from the place of being a Dad and husband. Keep me posted G--, Greg ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Have you considered sci-fi/fantasy writing? You have a great knack for creating visuals! Or maybe it’s just me…I tend to slip into fantasyland quite easily these days! Seriously, I have found more and more people with a general feeling of uneasiness, since we have torn apart the middle east. Whether it is revelation coming to pass, history repeating itself, or just self-ignited by your wish to break out of the rut you feel around you, it is certainly for real. I am facing similar questions, as I have been forced out of my job (see attached brochure…may have to print it to read easier) and am uncertain about pursuing yet another kitchen to hold together. I like the legal profession, in particular labor law, as it would give me a chance to help people that got screwed the way I did. However to undertake such a change while approaching age 50, is a fairly daunting task! Being a grownup really does suck, doesn’t it superman? I try to free my worried mind with music and laughter, and it still works great, if only for the moment it is in. Watching Jon Stewart (and his antithesis, Colbert) helps, he says out loud what everyone is thinking, making me feel a bit less alone. I feel sure that history will expose W and co. for what he/it is, a mechanism of the Project For A New American Century (look it up), the likes of which are at least as scary as Mein Kampf. Unfortunately, the damage is being done now, and hindsight may not be enough to save us. I saw the CSN&Y tour (twice) this summer. Besides being wonderfully nostalgic, it was heartbreaking that the songs written during Vietnam were pertinent right now. We have not learned a thing. The entire tour was a protest movement, Neil Young’s baby I presume, and it was, again, good to know I wasn’t alone. Keep the faith, my old friend, and the right path will open to you. Peace, Natalie ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- G--! Wow! That's quite a scenario. Give me some time to ponder this one. Unlike Jackson, I think there is something here that doesn't need to be medicated with Glenfiddich ... although any excuse to imbibe shouldn't be ignored. So, is it a personal journey; a Joseph Campbell "Hero's Journey?" Are you having Nostradamus flashes? Is there room in northern Quebec for me after the "bigs ones" start lighting up? Let me read this a couple more times. I'll get back to you in a few days. R. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Well G--, Don't quite know how to answer this one, but as I am a lover of quotes I always remember this one. " Leap and the net will appear" make of this what you will but I live by the adage that there is always a solution. Love always May ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Old Sacramento

Salut, Doc... I actually eked out some enjoyment from my previous trip...On my Sacramento, CA layover, I went out and did some exploring...I checked out Old Sacramento which has retained its Gold Rush-era architecture. I stepped into the Wells Fargo Museum and was greeted with the sight of a replica of the Concord Stagecoach...which carted all of its cash and gold all over the frontier-territories. The coach itself was made 20 miles from my hometown. I felt a rush of pride and connection that I lived so close to a contributor of history, interwoven with a name that is synonomous with the Old West. I also made it a point to visit the Pony Express Statue. I was surprised to learn that the Express only lasted for a year and half or so...On 10 April, 1860, 0245, the first rider raced off from the Sacramento town limits in the pouring rain...carrying the first bags of mail along the relay line that eventually led to...(I want to say)Missouri. I forget the town. On 21 October 1861 the Transamerican Telegraph Company was established...and the Pony Express closed two days later...but the Pony Express did much to open the communication out to the frontier... See? My job can be educational...GaP

Monday, October 02, 2006

It Could Be WORSE...

I sent an lawyer friend of mine a forward comparing prostitution to flight-attending. He replied... >>>>>>Hey G---, it isn't so bad. You could be a lawyer. George<<<<<< George... You're right. It isn't bad. Because I make it that way. I use the job to catch up on my reading between services...And speaking of prostitution, I'll be pimping for duty-free sales next month. Apparently, NWA didn't lose enough on this route the first time around... I really hope passengers aren't expecting me to know about the scent of Chanel No. 5 because all I have for them is a shrug. 4 percent commission is going to ensure that I BLAST right through that cabin with minimal eye contact. Hope you're well, Ambassador...And if I really wanted to work on an eternal run of homework and research AND deal with members of the horrid human race AND be expected to fix the self-created shambles that their lives have become.....then yeah, maybe I would consider the legal gig. Latersville...GaP