Smile, You A--Hole!

Russ... Just did my third trip in a ten-day period. The first two, I was mired in despair, fearing for the future, wondering if I could weather change and all that drama. Then the mood just lifted. Now I'm in the whatever mode. Interesting little episode in AMS. It was too beautiful a day to hang around the hotel environs so I went for a walk, checking a record shop or two. I found myself at the Kraz for Happy Hour. I was the only one of my crew there. I was just sipping my wine, staring out of the window as the assorted crew groups and cliques started coming in. I didn't really know ANYONE well enough to just ingratiate myself into their group. So I just sat there, alone in a crowded room, lost in thought. Then I was coming in from a bathroom break, I heard Harry Mc----grumble. "Hey, SMILE, asshole..." Harry's the type of guy who's like your pain-in-the ass older brother. He rubs you the wrong way with his smartass quips but you like him anyway. I bought him a red wine, thanked him for the little wake-up call, and then left. Hey, at least I got AWAY from the hotel for a change. Remember that Classic Trek Episode where a transporter accident splits Kirk into Good Kirk and Bad Kirk(With the thick dollops of eye-mascara EEK.)? That's how I feel sometimes. The yin and the yang tumbling end over end, a tug of war of dark against light. If Dark G-- ever came out without moral constraint, it would be some truly scary shit. Seriously sociopathic. But Good G--- is there, thank God. The one who writes letters, tries to be loyal to his friends, the one who WANTS to believe that humanity is WORTH a damn...and hopes against hope that we're WORTH it... Heading into the customs hall today, our Second Officer was musing about our Captain wearing his hat and jacket... "It's a tradition," I told him. "He's upholding a proud tradition." The S.O. made a comedic show of rolling his eyes and sighing. Despite my disagreement with him, he seemed to have my sense of humor. Wish I would have visited the flight deck or shared a beer with him. Anwyay, thank the aviation gods for folks like the Captain... Hope all is well, Captain... Speak soon...so anyway, what's up with you? G-- <