Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Fascist has TSA In It...

Yep...You missed a classic rant from me this morning. I had a minor experience with the TSA (Transportation Security Administration or somesuch) goons over at Terminal C at the airport yesterday. First of all, while I'm in training, I don't have to be in uniform. So this guy asks me for my ticket after I show him my i.d. I told him I didn't have one...but I had THIS. (Flapping my i.d. badge again.) This guy is a bit brusque in that "in-charge" sort of way. After a pause, he tells me that the reason why he asks is because the N----- Gates are at the other terminal. What I WANTED to reply was: "I don't care," in the same way Tommy Lee Jones says in THE FUGITIVE movie as the head guy chasing Dr. Kimball. You know, shaking his head with an incredulous look on his face..."I REALLY don't CARE.") Instead, a cooler head prevailed and I replied that they give me the same questions over there, too. Power-trip. (The In-Flight office is actually nearer to this security point.) It didn't help that they found a long-forgotten teeny Swiss Pocket Knife buried deeply in the backpack I was carrying my manual in. "You didn't know you were carrying this?" "No," I replied, doing my best to sound supremely bored and apathetic. "I didn't, actually." So I told him to keep it. I really DIDN'T care. Okay, now Paul...I realize that I'd probably doing the same thing if our positions were reversed. But the thing about TSA that burns my ass so much is that they've got this Guantanamo Bay/John Wayne Calvary Marshal attitude going on with their ridiculous government-sanctioned power trip. You know, as if they're REALLY making us any safer. Oh, and these a-holes have guns too. Fantastic. I really DON'T like them. I'm thinking of making a sign to put in both of my bags so that when they open it up, they see "TSA SUCKS DONKEY TURDS" or something. Or if I was feeling REALLY ambitious, I could have a sheet of lead with the letters cut out so they could read it through the x-ray as my bag went through. We will keep trying throughout the better weather months. I'd like to have you over along with a group of good friends. All that's required is that you sit back and enjoy yourself. And get slowly shmammered if you want, of course... Heading out to M----s tomorrow for the Hands-On segment of the training. Go through the motions of raft-survival and whatnot and hope that this stuff kicks in if or when I really need it... All The Best To You, My friend...GaP


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