Friday, July 01, 2005

Super-Villian

I got called a villian by a passenger on today's flight. I don't want to go into why. Maybe the guy was right. All the surpressed anger and misery at not wanting to be in this f--king dead-end job anymore...I can squelch the nastiness only so much, push it down like a coiled spring. But it always finds a way to manifest itself. I'm drowning in that special kind of misery that results from being stuck somewhere but lacking the motivation to improve my situation. So, as a result, I do the absolute minimum, I'm abrupt and impatient and I resent the majority of passengers in those seats. I don't want to talk to them, get to know them, warm up to them...maybe it's because they're on their way to someplace better...on all levels. Speaking of which, I notice that my world is shrinking. Up until two years ago, I made regular trip to my beloved Scotland, the trips diminishing in frequency until I just stopped going. Then, on my international layovers, I used to go out and VISIT people...local friends. But then THAT travel urge died. I had my normal record-store route around downtown AMS. Then I bought my first home. The disposable cash dried up...So now I don't even go into downtown anymore. Not even for happy hour. I am a hermit in the hotel. Jesus, dare I ask what's next? Maybe I'll just disappear altogether...vanish into nothingness. because that's what I feel like. And that's where I'm headed. Fast.

2 Comments:

Blogger PipeTobacco said...

Sir:

Perhaps there are ways for you to once again feel and experience the spice of life....

1. Perhaps you DO NOT need a house...perhaps your current life is better suited to apartment living?

2. Perhaps you can switch your airline job up somewhat to have a different route schedule or something so that you would again wish to explore and visit?

3. Perhaps taking up the pipe could give you a new adventure that would invigorate you.

PipeTobacco

12:24 AM  
Blogger Bueller said...

Hello, Pipe...

The first point I'm certain about. Probably the wisest decision I've ever made.

Regarding two and three...A change of route will be probably be most prudent. Every time I've done a domestic trip, a fresh perspective is offered up and the outlook is reinvigorated. Good call. Taking up the pipe is something that I kick around in my head frequently. The notion won't leave...so I believe it's my future at some point...

Thanks for your thoughts...

Off to work. Have a Happy Fourth...

12:04 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home