Monday, October 17, 2005

Is This What My Mom Felt?

Had this dream last night and it seemed to last forever. It began with comic-book panels and very slipshod-trying-to-pass-for-stylized art. Plots and images didn't make sense. They gradually lost their coherence...and eventually I find myself in the psuedo-real world. Everything I tried to do or accomplish seemed insurmountable...something as easy and natural as writing a letter, never mind addressing it and stamping it...Everything seemed disorganized, cluttered, chaotic, like a puzzle gradually crumbling back into it's pieces...Confusion, inablity to focus nor communicate with anyone without sounding like an utter loon. Is this what my mom went through every winter? She couldn't seem to count money, she was listless, moody, and went back to bed every morning after she sent me off to school...Her reality was broken and without a warranty... I'll tell you, it shook me so much that waking up was barely a relief. I helped myself to an extra dose of medication in the night. I hope this isn't a foreshadowing of things to come...GaP

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