Tuesday, January 16, 2007

IS There An Answer?

Russ___________ wrote: Hi GaP! I just opened the package with the Aimee Mann iTunes Originals. I will put them on the player tomorrow. Thank you. I particularly want to hear "I Hate To Hear People Cover Beatles Songs." She has a wry, wicked sense of humor. Kind of like mine. That's why I liked the Christmas card I sent. Yes, it looked classical, proper and all that. Until one gets to the caption. Yes, I do have possession of the familial high ground for the time being. This year, though, the place will be put up for sale and then we'll see what happens. The adventure continues. So does the drama. This past week has me wondering how much of the drama I'm creating. My friend in Oregon reminded me that I create my own reality. That's something I've preached to her over the past couple of years. It stings to hear one's own words directed at one's own ears. As I've mentioned before, it is the relationships with the women in my life that provide the challenge and mystery on my path. My spouse, the doctor's wife, the Norsk goddess and now my friend in Oregon. My God! When does a man find peace and comfort? Can a man ever find lasting peace and comfort? It's true that I am more physically comfortable being in the house with room to stretch out for first time in a year. Spending time with my boy is a good thing, too. (Yesterday we got back from a weekend skiing in W. Va.). But the emotional anguish of loving a woman continues. Sometimes I feel the current of several relationships coursing through, and the combination threatens to electrocute. But yes, this is a story that must wait for the draining of a bottle of single malt. There is a lot of stress in our lives. Too much. The job is a Faustian myth on its own. The hostile working conditions, the financial stress and the decay of the society provide more crap than any of us deserve (unless this world is some kind of a cosmic school like some of the New Agers preach). Add the personal element and, well, sometimes I wonder about exit strategies. We are characters in an Ibsen play. I hope your eschewing AMS provides some relief for you. Let's keep the faith, stick together and try to imagine it all is for a reason. Take care, brother. Russ. _____________________________________________________________________________ Salut, Russ... I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't look that closely at the card itself. (It has a place of honor on the desk so I just took it down for another look...) I thought it WAS all proper and reverent to the holiday. I was so in LOVE with the envelope and the written content of the card, I missed the punchline. I thought you were going all Christian on me for a minute there...But at the risk of sounding like I'm blowing smoke up your ass, you're a classy gent...so there'd be nothing wrong with a proper, classical card... That sounds like such a Northwest Pacific thing to say. I'm given to believe that the left coast produces that oh-so Ageing Hippie Worldview...But still, do you think she has a point? Relationships have a learning component...About the other person and especially one's self. It's a mirror to one's self if one cares to look. I don't know about the dynamic you have with the opposite sex but this is how I see it: You're a tall, handsome, romantic, introspective, PHILOSOPHICAL pilot...A CAPTAIN, at that. That's a heady, desirous mix for any self-respecting, intelligent female...But see, you like to examine...you like to analyze. You are SEEKING the answers to life and the universe's BIG questions. I would imagine that quiet, philosophical aspect is attractive. Maybe the lady in question thinks that her LOVE will be the answer. But this is the kind of quest that has no real definitive answers. LOVE, a life-companion helps with the journey...but it doesn't provide the answer. So when said lady finds that her love and understanding isn't enough...or heaven forbid! The end-all, be-all destination to life's journey, she may feel frustrated, she may feel betrayed...that she's just another question to be analyzed in this great cosmic riddle. So they back off... But what do I know? I could be just talking out the other side of my ass...Like I said, this is the conclusion I've gleaned from your past writings and observations...I could be way off. Apologies if I've overstepped my boundaries...but I care about you too, Russ. You are on of my best friends. I'd like to see you happy as well...but like I said, maybe happiness is a journey. I don't think it's a continual, achievable state. Life and all it's experiences are not linear... If you want the dark side of NOT finding happiness nor purpose in life, you should check out SAW. Bill and I recently absorbed the LORD OF THE RINGS in all of it's extended epic glory. It covers it all...Love, betrayal, redemption, friendship, loyalty, war, peace, death...Like all good stories... I'd rather be a character in a Kevin Smith movie... Many thanks for your friendship and your insights, my friend... Keep the faith and keep in touch...GaP

2 Comments:

Blogger Proxima said...

off the subject a little, but what do you like to do for fun? Any "odd" hobbies?

11:17 PM  
Blogger Bueller said...

'Fraid not. Not unless you count watching movie/television marathons on DVD or searching for new music as odd. I consider myself a pretty boring person...GaP

7:50 AM  

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