Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Science-Fiction Pop-Culture Apocalypse

Two nights ago, I had the third of a particularly vivid series of dreams. Ominous Apocalyptic dreams steeped in science-fiction imagery. Cinematic memes that have seeped into the popular consciousness, concepts familiar to most regardless of having seen the films. The final dream had more of a general theme. They took place over the span of a month. And since things tend to run in threes, I wasn't surprised to see the themes recurring. The first was a REVENGE OF THE SITH scenario. The rise of darkness, totalitarianism, destruction, and subjugation. I remember I was about to be executed in the dream. The emperor or one of the higher-ups had stepped from the room, bidding me good-bye even as I witnessed the rise of this new regime...Somehow, I escaped...but there was a sense of doom and despair permeating the dawn of a cold, dark age... The second dream had James Cameron overtones...Imagery from the TERMINATOR mythos...Machines roaming the streets cutting down any human in sight. Gun-towers landing amongst the skyscrapers cutting a swathe of destruction and death. I remember being among the panicked crowds, scurrying and trying to decide if I should join up with a group for safety in numbers or go it alone. I remember deciding on the latter...Again, a sense that life as we knew it was over. Humanity's day had passed... Two nights ago, I had a third dream...I remember being a part of a meeting up North...a backwoods rural setting. There was a hush in the air, a dread apprehension around the globe. The bombs were a hair's breadth from flying...I knew that I was to head up north...up to rural Quebec, somewhere in the backwoods. I was heading up there to form a survival be a leader or administrator or something. The community would shelter against the storm and then do our best to pick up the pieces of civilization after the dust settled. Care for survivors, be a egalitarian as we could manage... So what are the reasons for these dreams? Do they reflect fears of international tensions (Islamic Fundamentalist East versus Western military/industrial consumer complex?) Will it climax in a classic mutally assured destruction scenerio? Will the Book of Revelation come to pass? Is it because of my own desire to quit this soul-deadening job? The fear of change...ending something old and beginning something new? Is it despair at being my lack of motivation to get off my ass and make some positive change in my life? To start realizing my potential? Is it the fear of time passing WITHOUT taking these necessary steps? All of these things? Something to ponder as we hurtle along through the Ought years of the 21st Century...GaP

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Work Attitudes

Hi GaP, I was just going through my photo album here on the computer. Thanks for sending all the pictures! It's fun to see you in Canada, at the Scottish fest and all. Like you, I'm amazed at the frienship that has grown mainly through correspondence. But I'm determined it will not always remain locked in cyberspace. Take care and let me know how you are doing inside all the exterior crap we face. Russ _________________________________________________________________ Hey, Russ... Gotta tell ya...Everything outside the job is going well...Within the job, I just don't give a shit anymore...I phone in my service, ignore extra service requests, and rarely deviate "above and beyond"...because what's the point? "Don't blame the customers," the Kool-Aid drinkers wail. "It's not their fault..." Yeah, well...Steenland's screw-job isn't my fault, I guess shit rolls downhill. Fears that passengers will book away to other airlines? At 200 bucks a ticket overseas? Not likely. Oh, and they'll get duty-free again and I understand snacks are coming back domestically? I can't strike, I have no I'm just going to coast. I won't be rude but I will be an automaton...quick, curt, and my job and go home. I will not be the model employee... I have one day off before two more in a row. I use the plane time to catch up on my reading... Today...a day of running my errands in MY home-town, doing down-to-earth things like record-browsing, drug-store shopping, getting my comics and just walking to accomplish all these with the iPod playing...Ordinary, non-travel shit that requires no schedule. Many thanks for the kind words, my friend...does snail-mail easily reach you? GaP -------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monday, September 11, 2006

11 September 2005

Back from the wooded north. I left last Thursday to spend three days with my father up in Marston, Quebec. For three days, I had a diet of classic Westerns thanks to the Lone Star channel, a regular supply of beer, backwoods ambiance in abundance, and dog-hair everywhere...I've gotten far more used to my dad's yellow Labrador Tubby now that there's one in my own life. (Buddy, the big gooby...) It was good to get away from all of the work-related bullshit...You know...the possiblity of striking at my place of employment, the BUSHit of the current administration, Gulf War II, the general malaise of U.S. life in general... Life seems simpler up there...It's easy to see why Westerns and country music are so big up there...When I took a walk along the main road to on my last day there, it's not hard to cast your mind back in time a century and some change to the frontier-days...the wide open spaces, the farmhouses, the rolling hills, the mountain ranges, the sprawling but close-knit smalltown community...I got some weird stares when taking photographs with my digital camera but it was worth it. I also found myself missing my man while I was up there. I surprise myself how much I love Bill. I've spent my whole life VERY dubious of love's existence, cynical of its necessity, and VERY fearful of being in ANY sort of relationship. Being IN one meant being controlled, being imprisoned. I chalk that up to my upbringing with Mom. The longer I spend with Bill, the more those fears are put to rest...sometimes the old fears whisper: "You could do better, you could be FREE to be a slut, you could follow lust wherever you wanted..." But that's a fantasy. I remember how lonely I was, how forsaken I felt. I think of Bill and his insular life. Well, my life was insular as well...albeit not as much. But now we are homebodies together, enjoying each other's company, watching movies, listening to music, going to dinner, just BEING with each other...I always glad to be around him, I miss him when I'm NOT with him, I hurry to get BACK to him whenever I'm traveling...and that's exactly what I did when I came back down to New Hampshire on Saturday morning/afternoon...I guess I must be in love... My dad was misting up when I left him. He must really miss me. Bill says that as he gets older, he's probably regretting all the moments he missed when I was growing up. Poor guy. "It's not good-bye", I told him. "It's farewell..." God forbid, but I hope this isn't the last time I see him alive. I worry about him sometimes...his drinking, his smoking, his lack of health-insurance...(Well, Jesus, who can afford $430 a month on a retiree's income?) I smelled woodsmoke last night. There's a chill in the air...In my mind, autumn has begun... All for now...GaP

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Northward Bound

I'm heading up to Quebec to visit my dad this morning. A five-and-a-half-hour ride...the iPod is charging. It's less of a ride more than a meditative journey...time stretches out into a timeless state until suddenly, I'm there...It'll be nice to get away from the airline melodrama... I have to say that I love the drive through Northern NH with unfamiliar music playing from a compact disc...something with some lyrical weight, with something to say. I feel like I'm connected to the world in this travel state. One life is connected to the other. Each town I pass through has its residents that know each other by name and village eccentrics...The dramas are similar but the locales are different. Including my dad's hometown. It'll be good to see him and his two dogs again... All for now...and best wishes to the Frumpy Professor and his mom. GaP

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Stepping Up To The Keyboard...

I'm using this as a statement of intent to be a whole LOT more consistent with my posts...Been getting lazy when some solid thoughts needed to get posted. Motivation and focus are the keys...GaP