Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Mother's Day Relief

I'm in the middle of creating a First Anniversary Card for my significant other. Typically, I start with a small idea and it balloons into a full-blown project...Don't want to drown myself in it...I could do the cut-and-paste on my next AMSterdam layover but of course, I can't bring scissors with me on the trip...so it looks as if I'll have to buy some over there...I don't feel like tackling the monster-collage right now... Every time I walk into a drug-store or a card-shop, I'm reminded that Mother's Day is less than a week away. And EVERY time, I feel a minor flush of relief that I don't have to deal with contacting a manic-depressive mother anymore. I don't have to call and hear the guilt-trips, self-pity, nor the melodrama. I feel some guilt about this...but mostly a bit of sadness that mom never got herself any help, never really found some coherence or clarity in her life...If there is an afterlife or a higher state of existence, I hope she's in a happier place...I'm just glad that I don't have to deal with the mental-merry-go-round any more... Sorry, Mom. I guess I did love you. I love the person you could have been even more. Hope you're well...GaP

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