Coolness Transcends Age...

A groovy new image to start the day. I was down at the gym right when it was supposed to open and no one was there to open it. There was a crowd of us standing outside at 0500. Since it was the Y, there's sometimes someone in residence to open up the place. So enter Old Joe, World War II veteran who parks his car there at THREE A.M. goes on this longass walk. So to get someone's attention, he turns up his stereo and has Elvis belting out SUSPICIOUS MINDS. I doubt the fact that he wears a hearing aid makes any difference...Eventually, he got exasperated and got the hell out of Dodge with his lights off...The place was eventually opened by the usual suspect. She was late because she'd been involved in a fender-bender on her way to work. Read this cool graphic nove...THE FORTY-NINERS. I won't bore you with the plot/s but one of them involves a young man coming out and dealing with his homosexuality in PostWar America. It was handled sensitively and realistically amongst all the other storylines. This was a prequel and the two characters were featured in the regular title(TOP TEN), albeit fifty years later...STILL together. Very heartwarming... And speaking of that, I'm planning an impromptu supper for my significant other tonight. Nothing fancy. Just a pizza, some wine, a melted waxed wine-bottle candle, some romantic music...There's been a minor bit of static between us and I wanted to talk it out...and show him how much he meant to me. I've been insensitive...and I want him to know I'm going to work on changing that. The ageing process...I think of when I firsted started as a flight-attendant...I remember how restless I was, how many times I traveled to Scotland. I was averaging three times a year even after we stopped Glasgow service...(probably the happiest I'd ever been with this job...) Now I look back at that spastic, restless, naive twenty-something and wondered what happened to him? His sense of adventure? The many friends he had across the UK and Europe? Now it all seems like it belongs to another person. I know this is the ageing process. I know perceptions and attitudes change...But I didn't think the wonder would leave THIS soon. Maybe I'm bored with my OWN life? I don't miss the hyperactivity and naivete...So I guess it's a trade-off. STILL, I want to go to Scotland this summer to visit some friends...I don't want to get completely out of the habit... All for now...GaP

Cutting Your Losses...

My flight canceled Friday night...It was an embarrassing lack of coordinated effort on my employer's part We were on the plane for four hours and to be fair, passengers were reasonably calm but they were getting ugly fast. The Captain was inconsistent and not timely with his messages...No one seemed to know exactly what was wrong or what to do. I could understand why passengers were getting pissed off. When someone FINALLY made a decision and canceled tht flight, I chose the "pay-for-fly"...cutting my losses and sitting out the rest of the days of the trip. To get PAID, I'd have to sit by my phone and wait for them to assign me something else... I didn't get paid dime one for waiting around through someone else's ineptitude. At least passengers got put up for the night...TWO for some of them...and you KNOW that my employer would rather DIE than fork out money like that...So I took the Silver Line out to South Station and ended up spending the remainder of the night there until my bus for Manchester left at 0800. STILL better than working bleary-eyed on a full airplane trying to explain to passengers for the millionth time that I DON'T have access to connecting-gate/rebooking information. Better to have an unpaid weekend off... Customer service is cruel and unusual punishment...

Dream, Dream, Dream...

Maybe I AM becoming more like my dad. I'm getting increasingly anti-social. I got up early to hit the gym today and once I took the dog out for the walk, that notion went out the window. just want to return to bed...and why not? Call me lazy... And speaking of bed, I've had the latest in a series of recent dreams that I'm GLAD to wake up from. I wouldn't say that they're nightmares...but they DO depict situations and modes of existence that are fairly undesirable and awkward. I think deep down they might represent my fears of relationships, of love...But my feelings for Bill are clear. But they are confused sometimes...Obviously, deprogramming myself will be a life's work...(sigh...) My roommate is gone on a quick trip to Florida to scout a small retirement home(shack) for himself. I LIKE the time on my own... Everything in moderation? All for now...GaP

Catch-Up Time...

Lot To Catch Up On... A lot to catch up on...I live a slow life...so how can I get behind on my journal/blogging? Just letting it pile up, I suppose... Taking it back for a week...I've been walking the dog. That may sound boring but I'm getting to know the little critter...(little! He's a Yellow Lab. He's a small horse...)and getting some degree of exercise. It teaches you responsibility and caring for another being. And now that my roommate is gone for a couple days, I have full responsibility to him. Feeding, walking, and keeping him company...which I'm not really doing as I sit here at the computer... I've been spending less and less time at home and more and more time with Bill. It's almost like we're living together. I have to say I'm glad for the day I have here to just be in my own space...I gave him some moral support last week when work was sucking... And Saturday, we went up to Quebec together...We left at about 0815 or so and did the five-and-a-half hour journey up 93 North...Cross the Canadian border, take a right at La Patrie, head over to Woburn, take a left there, head on through Piopolis and eventually onto Marston. We checked into the hotel and made contact with my dad. (Wow. Just receive three actual letters. Not e-mails. Actual LETTERS! The written form of communication lives ON...) My dad agreed to take us over to my uncle's sugar cabin that's right off a gravel road. He wasn't boiling...It was too cold. I missed the busy period over the past month. That's usually when my uncle is scurrying around feeding the massive wood-furnace, checking water-levels, twiddling knobs...It's a worker. Although I didn't get to see the process, I got to see the next best thing...My dad, Bill, Uncle Bert, and I just sat down, shot the breeze, drank some beer, and took some pictures...and my uncle was kind enough to bequeath us with a couple cans of the syrup. When we got back to my dad's shack, Bill and my dad sat down and shot the breeze. They seemed to hit it off rather nicely. My dad exercised his gifts as a raconteur as we hung out. If my dad suspected Bill's sexuality and our own relationship with each other, he gave no sign. Bill got a full dose of my dad's co-dependent Yellow Labrador TUBBY and the Lu, the Malamut. I have to say that I enjoyed the ride back but I was traveled out. Monday was a chillout/hangout day. Bill called in sick for work. He wanted to do get some errands done...fun stuff like staining the deck, getting a haircut, staining the deck...He also had a jones for doing some "fag-shopping", as he put it. That meant a trip to the Christmas Tree shop to shop for home-accessories. He's always like a kid in a candy-shop when he does this. He's house-proud and loves to interior-decorate... Monday was the day he put the chairs out on the deck for the first time since last year. We sat there, drank, and listened to his iPod. Spring had officially begun. I go back to work on Friday. With the time left, I should reconnect with local friends. I haven't seen little Josiah for Christ knows how long...Not to mention The Tara, Starchild, Jason...I worked for George last week. And I really should go visit my sister. She's prone to manic depression like my mother and I. All for now...GaP

ARE We The Great Satan?

I've had politics on my mind for the last couple of days. I've been listening to National Public Radio the last few days and I've noticed a recurring theme: The erosion of our civil liberties. Yesterday on THE EXCHANGE, Anthony Romero was being interviewed. He's head of the ACLU(American Civil Liberties Union). Later, on the Diane Riehm show, there was a piece on homeland security and someone called in to say that she was VERY concerned about the LACK of concern regarding the whole phone-tapping scandal. "Oh, but we're at WAR," they answer. "Our government is PROTECTING us." So in order to feel safe, we're just handing over the keys to our liberty. What a mess. The only consolation is that our beloved Commander-In-Chief King George makes a boob out of himself every time he opens his mouth. This whole thing is in the air. V FOR VENDETTA, for example. I haven't had a chance to see the movie yet but it IS something I will rectify when I return from Quebec. The catchphrase says it all: "People should not fear their government. The government should fear it's people." Even the comics I'm reading have these overreaching arcs regarding government control, conspiracies, and registration acts. Something is in the air...and walls are going up along borders. This is a scary time...

Capitalist Assimilation

A pilot friend of mine sent an e-mail to the Orange County News...The gist goes like this... "...It is not that Orange County is some prestine, untouched wilderness. There is only one small patch of land in the county that hasn't been worked by man. That patch is a bit of old growth forest on Montpelier. Today's question is one of growth and development. Even limited growth eventually fills up the land. I lived in the county for thirty years and then moved away. Today, having since experienced the effects of sprawl on my soul, I would make different choices about building two houses on undeveloped land in Orange County." This was my response-------> Russ... Excellent letter. But we all know what the ultimate outcome will BE, don't we? Or rather, I should say, we know which outcome will be most likely. I'm beginning to think capitalism itself is an advanced virus that will not REST until it sucks everything dry and moves on to wider vistas. That's why the promise of going out into space has me shrugging my shoulders. So f--king what? We're just going to export our bullshit up THERE. Before industrialization and money, we had power-hungry individuals, yes. A lust for land, people to rule, and resources aren't really NEW...but industrialization and the concept of money have given us ways to measure and commodify our so-called "worth", our prestige and power index. Again, maybe this concrete consumption is supposed to happen. It's like an overwhelming avalanche from Mount Everest and all of the conservation efforts in the offing is like putting a snow-blower in front of the roaring tons of snow and ice. What, do we actually expect humanity to somehow wake up, become enlightened in a joyous New Age rapture, and start hugging trees? Going back to the land? Good luck. So bring it ON. Let's top out. Apparently, this is what we REALLY want...Especially in the good ol' U.S. of A. Let the assimilation continue. Speaking of THAT, I just slurped up three more episodes of the STAR TREK FAN COLLECTIVE BORG Box Set. That's an apt metaphor, isn't it? Cold assimilation and conformity or vibrant individuality? Depends which one is more lucrative, I suppose... I received the book today. Many thanks... You are a man of passion and conviction, Captain. I'm proud to call you a friend...GaP

Back Home Again

My nine-day, triple-whammy Amsterdam extravaganza is done with. Freedom for a few days. I have a two-day Fort Myers trip on Wednesday that I was trying to ditch but so far, no dice. When I return from that, I plan on doing a flying visit to Marston, Quebec to visit my dad and to see my uncle's sugar-shack before it gets too late into the spring. I'll be heading up with Bill. I'll pass him off as my "good buddy". I'm sure my dad knows deep down but I'm just going to play it casual. We're only going to be up there for about twenty-four hours anyway... Yesterday, Bill and I went over to Portsmouth...visited BULLMOOSE RECORDS...a kickass independent record store. I spent FAR more money than I should have...Here are the purchases... Went over to BULLMOOSE RECORDS yesterday in Portstmouth with Bill. My purchases... ONE KISS LEADS TO ANOTHER---GIRL GROUP SOUNDS--4 DISC box set A Pete Seeger Album that I didn't already have... A bunch of discs from RICHARD CHEESE. He does lounge covers of really hard risque modern rock songs. Radiohead's CREEP, Nirvana's RAPE, Disturbed's DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS--It was featured in the remake of DAWN OF THE DEAD. YELLO--THE EYE Their latest album used. Came with an extra disc or remixes. Bill bought a QUEEN tribute album...Electronica versus Metal--TIE YOUR MIX DOWN. He also bought two bluegrass albums, a FLOCK OF SEAGULLS greatest hits package. (Timeless and dated at the same time...) Naturally, I loaded all of it into his iTunes software program...I've begun doing the same thing with MINE. Listening to Girl Group Box Set now. A unique, magical sound...captures the ache of teenage girl melodrama. Great harmonies, fantastic hooks. Worth every penny... Stay attuned...GaP